My First Words

An excerpt about my first publishing experience at age 13

“I saw your article in a magazine,” Carol, a tall tenth grader said to me. 

“What article?” I was not sure what she was referring to, nor did I realize that tenth graders knew ninth graders were alive, let alone their names.

“You wrote an article.  I have it.  I’ll bring it tomorrow,” she When Carol returned the next day, she showed me the magazine and opened it to the Letters to the Editor. 

With a quiet thrill, I scanned the page in my hands and there it was:

I am a 13 year old girl who would like, first of all, to congratulate you on your first issue of EMBER magazine.  Now there is finally a Canadian Magazine dedicated to today’s Black woman.  I hope you have success in years to come with this publication.

Second, I would really like to thank you for writing such a great article on actress Cree Summer.  She is among my favourite actress and articles on her are very rare.  This article let me know much more about this beautiful and talented actress from our country.  Thank you.

Nadia Hohn

Rexdale, Ontario      

EMBER

July/August 1991, Volume 1, Number 3

There were my words and my name in print.  I felt a quiet sense of excitement and pride at the sight of my name for all to see.  It wasn’t the type of thing that got celebrated in my family.  No one went out and bought a cake or held a party or framed the article or even thought to call the publisher to reserve some or bought all of the copies around the city.  I did not come from that kind of affirmation  (nor did I have any idea how publishing worked or archiving one’s own work like I do now).  Maybe tired from their double shifts at work, in the very least, I imagine my parents said “That’s nice” which is often what they said when I showed them my report card or the new song I learned to play on the piano.  But this time was different because Carol, perhaps out of not wanting me to keep her magazine, or I, had the forethought to photocopy the magazine page.  I had the sense to keep the article safely for all these years.  And I repeated this many times as I wrote for the high school newspaper during my five years there, keeping a box and bag full of articles, essays, plays, and poetry from my adolescence.

But it was all there wasn’t it?  Amidst my many career doubts and my switched majors and transferred universities, years as an elementary school teacher who wanted to be a music therapist then a social worker than a counsellor then a physician then a naturopath, the unpaid leaves, the year off to work at a non-profit organization and the unpaid magazine internship in New York City that I sought out and fought for at the age of twenty...  Amidst all those bits and pieces, there it was-- my writing voice was crystal clear.  My name on a paper.  My simple words that took up space.  And the editor valued it enough to publish the musings of a thirteen year old girl.

Yes, my voice was different then but somehow, still, the same now.

“Ember: Celebrating the Black Woman in Canada” is a now defunct magazine that celebrated Black Canadian women.

My full essay “My First Words” is available for paid subscribers.